November 06, 2004 - 23:17
Haha, I wanted to be a mortician a while ago. I know, it was just a combination of my desire to get out of South Carolina and my interest in mortuary science (which has since died off). But I was thinking of applying to mortuary colleges. And it was crazy.
Nevermind movie or band-related tattoos: I want to get "MURDER MERTEN" tattooed on my back. Then I'll tell people this wonderful story about a dream where I read about a little boy and his sexual relationship with a puppy, at the conclusion of which I went into the bathroom and saw the words "MURDER MERTEN" and "KILL MORTON" carved into my face. I like the former better because of the alliteration, and the second sounds like an attack on Morton Salt. Plus it would be more interesting to have something internal and subconscious inked into your skin than something conscious and external. In the dream, Merten was the puppy and I was supposed to kill it to assuage the little boy's guilt.
Plus it sounds cool, maybe some random person will name a band after me.
I hate modern educational television shows. The cinematography is like an episode of Cribs, with random panning from side to side and animals moving in slow-motion, as well as rock n'roll music played over "action" scenes or at an animal's introduction. The goal is to introduce people to animals by making them seem cool or funny, but there must be some compromise between that and thirty minute videos of a bear eating a deer while someone narrates in a monotone voice.