November 08, 2004 - 12:04
Meaning I shouldn't make any long-term commitments based on interests, especially ones that will make it necessary to study something every day for a year or two that i'll grow tired of in a few months.
One of my sister's friends borrowed my clock so the other day, I put some live batteries in the Tiger Datapad I bought in Georgia when I was thirteen. Trey was the first password; I remember entering it in standing in the doorway of my aunt's living room, and it seemed strange that I would think of him out nowhere. Accordingly, there are some dates in the organizer from a year later:
10-13-00 DAY 1
12-26-00 GUILT
01-01-01 APOLOGISE
08-18-01 CALL HIM
10-15-01 APOLOGISE. CALL HIM.
I always treated it like it was already over and I just had to tie things up by saying I was sorry for how horribly I had dealt with it, and that I didn't think I could handle it. Even though, had I apologized, it's not like he would have disappeared--then he'd have known that everything was mutual. And if you apologize for doing, and continuing to do something, there's really no point, since I had no intention of or ability to do things differently and not have anything else, after the initial apology, to apologize for.
Well, it is over now, and only important to me because it was the most difficult thing I ever had to deal with, and I failed, even though I had plenty of motivation to succeed: my own happiness, and that of someone whom I really, really cared about.
On to another entry..